As the end of the world draws near (according to the ever reliable Mayans), you’d be forgiven for wanting to ensure you’ve made adequate plans lest you end up experiencing humanity’s final moments warming up a microwave lasagne for one. Luckily for you, there’s a glut of events to enjoy when the fateful moment is upon us. Here are our top eight ways to spend your last night on earth:
The Last Supper Club
The Last Supper Club lets you live out your last night on earth to hedonistic excess. The Yard in Shoreditch is playing host to an apocalyptic party: they’re running two different menus in the lead up to the end, as well as street food and a selection of doomsday drinks to help you overcome impending death. We can’t help but feel as though they’re cashing in on this Mayan nonsense, though, as The Last Supper Club runs until December 22nd.
End of the World Party at Village Underground
If you prefer your doomsday events with less eating and more dancing, then the End of the World Party at Village Underground might be more your cup of tea. Organisers Rebel Bingo have been throwing end of the world parties for four years now, so they’re experts at making sure you’ve got something to do when it becomes apparent that the world’s not going to end (just yet). There’ll be live DJs, a Last Wish room and a countdown so you can keep track of your impending finale. Tickets are £4.
Proud presents: The End of the World Party
Who wants to spend their last moments with family, arguing about what to watch on TV? Proud Camden‘s end of time celebration promises ‘phat’ beats and dizzy disco. Guests are encouraged to repent for their sins by scribbling confessions on their body and clothes, which could prove awkward if 21/12/12 passes without incident. You’ll be able to take advantage of half price shots every hour, as well as dancing your apocalyptic socks off to a very special guest DJ. Bring a white t-shirt. Tickets cost £5.
Buffalo Bar present End of the World
Buffalo Bar are taking no chances with their End of the World party, opting to hold it the night before the world’s demise to ensure you get your money’s worth. Guided Missile, Buffalo Bar’s monthly club, promises to bring you tip top entertainment for your final night on earth. Featuring live Christmas songs from Glam Chops, post-war retro hits from the Mrs Mills Experience, contagious Mr Blobby weirdness courtesy of Blobby Band, Japanese punk from No Cars, and DJs, Buffalo Bar presents apocalyptic revellers with a kitsch variation to your average end of the world fare.
Popstarz’s End of the World Party
London’s longest-running gay alternative gives you an opportunity to star in your own disaster movie this December. Popstarz will be providing apocalyptic makeovers so you can look your best when the four horsemen turn up. There’ll also be a very special stage show at midnight to keep you entertained while the very fabric of society breaks down. This’ll be your last chance to enjoy Hidden this year, or possibly ever!
The End of the World Party at The Tunnel
When society collapses and we’re plagued by fire and brimstone (different thing, but you know what we mean), you want to ensure you’re somewhere where you can ride out the worst of it in relative comfort. Chatham’s renovated Napoleonic Fort, Fort Horsted, provides such refuge. With two rooms of blistering house and dubstep and D&B (oh my) from acts such as Redlight, Breakage and Roska, you can be sure to live out your final moments in bassy bliss.
Carry on Carolling with Russell Grant
If gorging yourself on rich food and pouring cheap swill doesn’t quite grab you, look no further than Carry on Carolling with Russell Grant. If Grant, the UK’s foremost psychic and Strictly Come Dancing star, feels confident enough to have arranged an evening of ‘festive fun and superb holiday music to get your Christmas party going”’, that’s got to be a good sign, right? Featuring classics such as Santa Mambo Santa, Mary’s Boy Child and Good King Wenceslas, we couldn’t think of anywhere else we’d rather be.
The Hit Factory Live
If anything looks set to bring about the imminent destruction of mankind, it’s Pete Waterman’s Hit Factory Live. The ill-fated concert was due to take place in July, but was rescheduled after heavy rainfall turned Hyde Park into an apocalyptic mud-fest. Now, Waterman and co are having a second go at pissing off the gods. Featuring acts such as Steps, Rick Astley, Jason Donovan, Sonia and 2 Unlimited, Hit Factory Live will take place at the O2 Arena (formally the Millennium dome!). If that’s not some terrifying symbolism, we don’t know what is. Jonno Hopkins
For more parties, see timeout.com/clubs.