Adulthood proving an unending slog of wage labour, sub-clinical substance addiction and sexual anxiety? Then retreat into a cosy cocoon of nostalgia this weekend, as CITV screen some of their finest childhood programming from the past three decades.
Their own blurb rightly highlights the joys of Knightmare (Sat, 2pm), Art Attack (Sat, 12.25pm) and Press Gang (Sat, 4.30pm). But here are a few reminders of the channel’s other treats, guaranteed to evoke the taste of Um Bongo and the satisfying weight of a Pog Slammer in hand…
Spatz (Sun, 9.50am)
Was it good? Not really. Can you remember anything that happened? Probably not. But the theme tune will probably conjour up a vague 90s sensation in your bosom anyway:
How 2 (Sat, 12.25pm)
This is much more like it. Carol Vorderman, Fred Dineage and Gareth ‘Gaz Top’ Jones unite to do science for kids! One of the few clips on YouTube is this meta moment, explaining the return of the slightly un-P.C hand signal to the show. And that’s how… for now.
Mike & Angelo (Sat, 9.25am)
A normal kid, a kid that can walk on the ceiling, and a theme tune that sneakily references Cum On Feel The Noize. Not ringing any bells? I bet this does:
Finders Keepers (Sat, 1pm)
We can go bonkers in the bathroom, crazy in the kitchen, and loony in the living room: no, it’s not a Skepta track, but a house-trashing gameshow that, by virtue of including a proper house, was always the thinking man’s Fun House.
The Old Skool Weekend is on the CITV Channel this weekend, Jan 5/6.