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The name game: what will they call the Royal baby?

Posted at 6:00 pm, July 23, 2013 in Fun London
knit your own royal baby

If you’ve not yet heard the news (if that’s at all possible), The Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a bouncing baby boy. But what we’re all still dying to know is what Prince Wills Junior will be officially named. All odds are on traditional monikers like James, George and Albert, but quite frankly we’re hoping Kate and William go for something a little less predictable. Jay and Bey went all Eiffel 65 on us and named their daughter Blue, then Kanye and Kim threw a giant curveball by shunning a legacy of K’s and titled their sprog after a compass point. For some baby-naming inspiration, we’ve pulled together ten top suggestions for the little London chap.

1. Boris
Loved by many, respected by some, our own Mayor of London is a fitting namesake for a little baby. Their hair will stick up in the same way, for starters.

2. Ken
Not after Livingstone (although that works too), but short for Kensington Palace, where the little one will be brought up. If it’s going to be brought up in a bloody palace, it’ll need a low-key name to survive school.

Following in the footsteps of celebrity royals David and Victoria Beckham, whose children’s names are glittered with literary references (Harper, named after Harper Lee and Romeo, from the only Shakespeare play Posh ‘n’ Becks have both heard of), knee-high pickpocket Mr Twist is one of the capital’s most famous fictional characters.

4. Benedict
It’s fancy enough for the Windsors, but also the first name of unlikely crush and excellent London-born actor Benedict Cumberbatch. And if the baby ends up channeling Sherlock, it’ll be a double London whammy.

5. Hugh
Is there a man more quintessentially British than Hugh Grant? And with everyone’s favourite fop as the baby’s namespiration there might also be room for a few tabloid scandals in later life.

6. Jerry
We all know the story of talk show champion Jerry Springer being born in a Tube station, and this might get us a few bonus points with the US to cash in later down the line.

7. Dick
Are the streets of London paved with gold? Maybe for this little newborn. If any kid can get away with being called after genitalia, this guy can – plus the Whittington Hospital might get a bit of extra funding. A Royal visit to Archway? Worth a look.

8. Dizzee
It’d be great for the Royal fam to pay tribute to modern London icon, and the Rascal would no doubt be chuffed to share his name with the new kid in town. We’re seeing future collaborations and pimped arts funding.

9. Benjamin
After Big Ben, of course. Tall, slim and always on time, there’s no better London attraction to name the royal bundle after. We imagine that the Horniman Museum has already been vetoed.

10. Derek (Del Boy, informally)
Veering sharply away from their royal roots, naming their bouncing baby boy after one of one of Peckham’s finest wheelin’ and dealin’ geezers is great way to win over the south-east London masses.

Want more? Check out the ‘A Royal Arrival‘ exhibition at the Museum of London. Or here’s how to have a royally good time in London

Republican? Here’s a whole load of things to do that have absolutely nothing to do with the royals. 

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