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Artpop: five things to expect from Lady Gaga’s new album

Posted at 4:00 pm, August 9, 2013 in Music & Nightlife
Lady Gaga

The wait is nearly over. On August 19 Mother Monster will unleash her new single, ‘Applause,’ and the hotly anticipated album ‘Artpop’ will follow in November. Join us as we revel in the hype and predict what lies ahead as part of The Gaga Chronicles: Volume Three.

1. Sex
You don’t have to be a Little Monster to know that lyrical mischief is de rigeur for Gaga. However, judging by ‘Burqa’ – the first track to be leaked from the upcoming album – and its suggestive lyrics, ‘Do you wanna see me naked, lover?’ ‘Artpop’ is poised to be hotter than uranium rod soup. Whether Gaga can top ‘Poker Face’s ’I’m bluffin’ with my muffin’ remains to be seen, but we wait with baited breath for more pastry-based double-entendres.

Big G also sports a new stripped-back image, which – though still sexy – is a departure from her alien dominatrix look of old. This is the new Gaga: the one who will call you the morning after and spare you her bite marks – if you want her to…

2. Pop Art
Well, the album title is a bit of a giveaway. If you’ve seen Gaga’s recent turn in Marina Abramovic’s video for her ‘Kickstarter’ museum, you’ll know the lengths the star will go to in the name of art. The bizarre clip sees the woman born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta walking blindfolded through a forest and cuddling a giant crystal. Both while stark naked. Ouch.

In other news, Gaga recently roped in pop art wild child Jeff Koons – whose back catalogue includes pornography created with his ex-wife, the pornstar La Cicciolina – to guide her artistic direction. It sounds to us like a digital-age Warhol and Sedgwick partnership, only sexier. What the pair will come up with after a few glasses of chardonnay is anyone’s guess. The odds that neon will be involved: high.

Lady Gaga

3. Controversy
Old habits die hard in the Haus of Gaga, and leaked track ‘Burqa’ is evidently designed to raise hackles, using, as it does, the garment worn by women in some Islamic traditions as the inspiration for lyrics including, ‘Do you wanna touch me, cosmic lover / Do you wanna peak underneath the cover?’ There are surely more than a few more shocks to come. We smell another meat dress coming…

4. Tinnitus
Gaga will debut her new sound at the MTV Video Music Awards on August 25, where she’ll be competing with the likes of Kanye and Miley Cyrus for pop’s pole position. So, we can expect her offering to pack a punch. Imagine, if you can, music that will bitch-slap her competitors, set to a sequence of pyrotechnics and conceptual dance moves. Or, in the words of Brick Tamland, ‘LOUD NOISES!’.

Lady Gaga

5. LGBT support
Because, while she might be a megastar and a lunatic, she still has a heart of gold. Gaga has championed LGBT rights from day one, and on Monday she took on Russia (historically a brave move) by slamming Putin’s anti-gay attitude via Twitter. Gaga is pretty much a camp superhero, with a figurative peace sign on her breast and a sparkly cape on her back. Whether her activism will translate into musicality on ‘Artpop’ is uncertain, but we hope she keeps up the good work and continues to prove she’s not just a nutty pop star in a visor. Jessica Zbinden-Webster

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