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What the fox?! Vulpine licks child’s face in Clapham

Posted at 4:00 pm, September 17, 2013 in News

Residents of Clapham! Grab your car keys and loved ones, because you’re not safe anymore. Your children aren’t safe, your belongings aren’t safe and your house isn’t safe. Just this week, a corporate lawyer in Clapham opened the door to her six year-old child’s fourth floor bedroom and found a fox licking the kid’s face. Did you understand that? Foxes are now climbing through your windows and licking your children’s faces. Think about that.

Jo Williams said: ‘I went to check on her and saw this fox on top of her with its tail all puffed out, looking really scary. It looked at me then took another lick of Ava’s chin. I had a few seconds of pure terror where I just froze to the spot. I rushed to pick Ava up and took her out the room, but it took another hour and a half before I could get the fox out. It had messed all over the room. It was revolting.’

Alternatively, instead of running to the hills, fight back in the only language they understand – licking. Show them you’re not scared and won’t stand for this. Start salivating and protect your brood now!

Did this sickness have anything to do with you, Gus the Fox?

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