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London, will you be my Valentine?

Posted at 2:30 pm, February 14, 2014 in Fun London
London, will you be my Valentine?

London, I love you!

By Johnnie Q. Londoner

Oh London, I may as well come right out and say it: I love you so.

May I speak first of your beauty, if only for a moment? I remember the first time I laid eyes on you, driving up the A4 to my Gran’s house in Brentford. ‘How lovely!’ I thought, my heart instantly a-flutter. And you know, I’ve always found the Westway one of your most attractive features ever since. Not to mention your grand architecture and pretty parks – some days, I can’t believe I’ve landed such a knockout. You should see the way new people look at you! It makes me feel so lucky to have you in my life.

I remember when we first properly met. I was totally intimidated and probably had one too many drinks. But it was so exciting, and I bored all my friends back home about it for weeks. Since then, we’ve made so many fond memories together: late nights, hazy days, the liminal hours of liquor and laughter.

Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs. But you’ve always been the one for me, and I’ve spent the best years of my life with you. You entertain me, enlighten me, comfort me and confound me. You make my life a better place – and me a better person, too. I think we have something really magical together, and I hope we always will.

Will you be my Valentine? xxxx

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Screen Shot 2014-02-14 at 12.23.46Well, this is awkward

By London, England


How… unexpected! And it’s very sweet of you to say those things. You are certainly quite nice too, uh, it’s… no, of course I know your name! How could I forget? Ha. I’m pretty sure it begins with a… D?

And yes, I’m sure we have had some memorable moments – memorable for you, in any case! But what you ought to know, sweetheart, is I that I’m actually seeing someone else. Well, quite a lot of people, really. Now, of course I like you best. Especially if by ‘best’ you mean ‘somewhat’. It’s just some of these other people have more money, are more attractive, and generally know how to get a city’s motor running, if you know what I mean. It’s not you, it’s me! And them. It’s me and them without you.

It’s nothing personal! In fact it can’t be personal, because I’m not terribly sure who you are. So it’s not that I dislike you, it’s more that you don’t exactly mean anything to me, you know?

Listen, you’re a great friend, or at the very least, a friend. But maybe it’s time we took a break. I’m just super busy right now and really want to focus on being a city for a while, and it’s not that you’re holding me back exactly, but it’s more like I’m way out of your league and I think that deep down, we both know it. But remember, there are plenty more cities out there for someone like you. How about Weston-super-Mare? You’ll love the Helicopter Museum!

Good luck with everything, um, you,


[Photo credits: M Vorländer and Umbreen Hafeez]

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