The intrepid Sonya Barber has put herself at your mercy. So you sent her to try and sniff out love.
The idea of finding a love matchusing a blind scent test is great. In theory. People you fancy tend to smell incredible, so I had high hopes that my nose would guide me to extreme hotties. Oh, how wrong I was.Pheremone Party’s rules are simple: sleep in a T-shirt for three nights, stuff it in a ziplock bag, bring it in and let suitors sniff your natural musk. The room is full of people sticking their faces into bags and smelling each other’s garments, and no one is holding back. ‘Yuck!’ people shriek. ‘Ewww!’ And they’re right, a lot of these people do stink. There are the stenches of sweat, smoke, food and general person-pong. But then there are shirts that have clearly been freshly washed or covered in perfume.
I take a scientific approach to picking a potential mate – I study the T-shirts themselves (good band T-shirt= tick), sniff the armpits (got to give this pheromone thing a fair chance) and check out the bags (Waitrose trumps sandwich bag, etc). I finally choose one that smells pleasantly intriguing. But once I’ve tracked him down, I realise that it’s no wonder his T-shirt smells nice – he’s clean-cut and preppy. The type of boy I never go for. My ideal man’s T-shirt will be far filthier than this well-groomed chap’s: no doubt it’s one that I hurled back on the pile in disgust.
A woman finds her bag empty and exclaims that someone has stolen her T-shirt. ‘I bet some guy’s got it wrapped around his penis!’ she cries. I don’t like to tell her that it’s just fallen under the table in the scrum. People are getting increasingly drunk and the smells are making an excellent conversation starter. This isn’t a revolutionary dating night where we’ll all be led by our noses to true love – the T-shirt thing is just a ploy to get people talking. Fancying someone is based on looks and personality, but getting intimate with a stranger’s pyjamas is a good way of breaking the ice. Anyway, you know what they say about love, don’t you? It stinks.
The next Pheromone Party is on July 15! Places for women are all sold out (you can, however, join a waitlist) but there’s still room for pleasantly scented gentlemen. Find out more at facebook.com/pheromoneparties and join the waiting list at eventbrite.co.uk.